Accidentally mixing a brand new red shirt with all of your white garments on laundry day…

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Asking for dating advice from your mom who’s been divorced, had a slew of textbook douchebag boyfriends…

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When you take a workshop outside of where you normally dance but realize how much you suck compared to the others.

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When you lose your phone and your wallet within the same week…

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Old people who dress better than you is really just rock bottom.

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When you hit the car in front of you and side swipe someone else’s side mirror while trying to parallel park. The universe hates you.

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When you use a different bag and get to work without your keys.

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When you do their dishes and still don’t get laid… This isn’t charity, you dumb fuck!

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When you promise your 2-year old “We will go somewhere, sweetie!” …and you lock your keys in your car.

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Realizing you’re going to be alone for the rest of your life because you’re a terrible person.

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